Advice Pool - Relationships

When I asked my husband to leave and went into group counselling for abused women, one of the things that most struck me was the counsellor saying: “The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference”. At the time it was a revelation to me.

The point is that hate i

According to USFDA, a combination product is one composed of any combination of a drug and device; biological product and device; drug and biological product

s simply the reverse side of the coin to love. You cannot hate someone unless you have very strong feelings about them. When you are consumed with hurt and rage hatred may feel like a more constructive outlet than love.

Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. Sometimes it is

; or drug, device, and biological product and fixed dose combination would include two or more combinations of drug.

Examples of combination products may in

helpful, in the short term, to vocalize all the things that drove you mad about your partner. The downside is, of course, that you remain just as focused, even fixated, on the person as you were before. You are still hooked into powerful emotions that keep you locke

lude drug-coated devices, drugs packaged with delivery devices in medical kits, and drugs and devices packaged separately but intended to be used together.

into the relationship.

And let’s not kid ourselves here. The relationship doesn’t end when an abusive partner walks out of the door. (If only!)

I was friendly for years with a woman who had stopped living with her abusive partner years ago. Their only contact wa

here is enormous increase in the number of combination products entering the market in the recent years. Combination products have proven advantages but fixe

s weekly, or fortnightly, over their two young children, and yet the abusive relationship continued to be played out as powerfully as it ever had been. They were still locked into the cycle, he of exerting power and control over her, she of trying to get her voice he

d dose combinations are still in the process of convincing regulatory authority on their advantages over the single ingredient formulations.

Combination pro

rd. The children were leverage for him, a hot button for her.

They were still stuck in the push-pull relationship of love and hate. Indifference wasn’t even on the horizon for those two, any more than it is for many women who are constantly breaking up and getting

ucts have become life saving products for the pharmaceutical companies who doesn’t have many innovative molecules in their product pipeline and have been inc

ack with their ex.

So how, you might ask, do you arrive at indifference? I remember thinking that I might as well trot off in hot pursuit of the Holy Grail as aspire to indifference. Still I flagged it up as a yard-stick by which to measure my emotional involvement

easingly used in the product life cycle management. Even the companies having product patents are trying to extend their product life cycle through the combi

with him.

Have I achieved indifference? I realize that this is the first time that I have asked myself that question and thought carefully about the answer.

The more time goes on, the less convinced I am that indifference is the full answer. First, nobody tells y

nation products and maximize the revenues. But the companies involved in this practice are overlooking that they are burdening the patients both economically

u how to arrive at indifference – and how can you possibly arrive somewhere without some kind of route map? Second, abused women are so used to being swept along on a rollercoaster of emotions that indifference is almost unimaginable. You have an emotional chasm, ho

and physically. They need to rightly judge the benefits of the combination products and they have to even look at the risks involved when combining the produ

will indifference fill it?

Third, the concept of indifference doesn’t even begin to acknowledge all the emotions that you feel; the love, the hurt, the sadness, the fear, the worthlessness. I won’t go on because you can name those emotions at least as well as I can

ts. Some of the combination products were well accepted by physicians while others suffered. Companies involved in development of combination products are fi

Working with women who know they have to put an abusive relationship behind them, I am always struck by the problem they have with the love they still feel. They love the investment they made in the relationship, they love the person they believed their partner cou

ding difficulty in defining their combination products and facing various challenges from selecting a combination to marketing it.

Following aspects would a

ld be and was at bottom. The shorthand they use for this is that they loved him.

In a lot of cases, their supportive, caring friends and family will tell them what a jerk he was. He probably was, but that is not helpful to the grieving woman. It may even compound h

dd to the challenges in developing combination products:

Which markets to tap where the combination products can do fairly well?
Which combination prod

r problems by making her feel like the fool he has convinced her she is.

The thing is, she is entitled to love her abusive partner. She is entitled to carry on loving him for the rest of her days if she so chooses. Love after all is a choice we make. It’s actually

cts are meaningful and rational?
Which therapeutic categories to select?
Which Combinations can address unmet needs of the patients?
Do combin

ok to carry on loving an abusive partner, if you choose. That doesn’t mean you should ever spend time with him again and expose yourself to the destruction he wreaks.

But you are free to love him.

You are also free to send him loving, healing thoughts. Since you l

tions increase the patient compliance?
What would be the developing cost?
How to tackle the risks encountered during combination product developmen

ove him, you are free to wish for his healing, as well as your own. You don’t need to know what form that healing will take, you can wish that he finds his path so that he can fully grow into the qualities that you found lovable in him in the first instance.

Not t

t?

As combination products don't fit into the traditional categories of drugs, medical devices, or biological products, the USFDA is in the process of devel

at it means that you will ever get back together. You both have healing to do. In the best Hollywood tradition, you two poor wounded soldiers would support each other along the same healing journey. Two hours later you would both be whole, loving and just about to

ping new procedures for reviewing their safety, efficacy and quality.

Professional from academic institutions, pharmaceutical industries, health care indust

rot off into the sunset together to the accompaniment of a great soundtrack…

In the real world it takes longer – and it is actually a far healthier journey. There won’t just be one soundtrack, one person, one sunset. You will meet far more people along the way, you

y and representatives from various regulatory agencies are working out to design the regulatory requirements for manufacture and sale of combination products

will discover so much about yourself and them. Your vistas will widen. It will take longer, engage more of your emotional resources and, ultimately, be a far richer experience.

And what about indifference? Will you have indifference for your abusive ex?

In the b

.

As there is an increasing trend of the combination products companies manufacturing such products should be able to tackle the problems involved in the de

st of all possible worlds I suspect you will not. Instead, you will have something better: detachment. You may be saddened that he does not fulfill his potential to be a loving, lovable person. But you will not be sad for your loss, because you will see that it is

elopment. They need to be wiser in analyzing the market trends and the regulatory requirements.

Companies that provide selfless information through particip

ot a loss but a true gain.

By allowing yourself to acknowledge the love you feel, you set yourself free. You also set the other person free. Loving them, if that is what you choose to do, means that there is no need to own or hold on to them.

(C) 2007 Annie Kaszin

tion in industry events and feedback to regulatory authorities would be able to face the challenges and will be successful in developing combination products

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